Not long ago, HAI Site Coordinator Bill Burns was driving the On-Site Performing artist Mike Butler off the grounds of South Beach Psychiatric Center on Staten Island when their van was surrounded by a flock of wild turkeys.

The turkeys’ cacophonous gobbling was frantic and, in this mass of avian agitation, they looked primitive and threatening. Neither Bill nor the performer wanted to get out of the car to chase them away. Bill blew the horn and gunned the engine but they wouldn’t move. What to do?

Then Bill remembered the half-eaten sandwich left over from his lunch. Opening the window, he tossed hunks of tuna and bread off to the side of the road. The turkeys scrambled away from the roadway and our heroes were able to escape.

When asked for a closing comment, our intrepid Site Coordinator resisted the temptation to say, “This job is for the birds.”